Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Good News, Bad News and (insert advanced apology) Holy Shit!!!

Good news: after three long years of being unemployed from a FULL TIME CAREER I am finally and happily an employee again for a well known company that has amazing benefits, excellent employee perks and pretty darn good pay.  It has been a long drawn out three years and I am sure a lot of people can relate to the stresses myself and honey have been through.  Along the road we tried our hardest to not make it too tough on the kids, but they know when the purse strings have been tightened and the nerves are frayed.  It has been over 5 years since a family vacation and yes, we are planning a little weekend adventure in February to GET AWAY for a few days and HAVE FUN.  I have been on cloud 9 lately just thinking of what I can afford again and the best part, I can actually turn on a light switch without holding my breath for fear that the utilities were turned off, yes, a few times it was rough.  "Tis the season for money stresses and even though I wont have an actual paycheck before the big guy in the red suit makes his appearance, I will have a blessed holiday and not take for granted the warm beds we have every night, a roof over our heads, the food in our bellies and the love surrounding us. 

My bad news isn't as much bad news as it is just a realization as to what in the world have I been doing these past three years?  Not working, duh ... so obviously, why in all the glorious amounts of TIME I had didn't I do something about all the extra flab hanging around?  Yes, I have a honey and three children, and homework and house chores and errands and blah blah blah ... Well I can't kick myself anymore while I am down, and I sure as heck can't turn the hands of time back so I guess the best thing I can say to my future skinny self, I am sorry I didn't take advantage of the days I didn't have anything to do.  I will try my super darn hardest to remember this feeling and try my super darn hardest to make exercise just as important as anything else I have to do.  I mean in the long run, it could be the difference of saving my life, literally. 

So, you must be wondering what my holy shit news is.  I said it this very statement out loud today while shopping for a small amount of new clothes for this new job.  I hate to shop, I don't like to try things on but I decided I should today just to safe.  There I am, in the department store with my honey, looking at cute tops and pretty sweaters and grabbing a few and realize, I can put this sweater on right here, no need to find one of those scary full length mirrors, it's just a little sweater that can go over my shirt now.  So I do.  I grab the last size I think I wear, it is a little snug so I think, "OK, lets try one up and another sweater, it has to be the type of sweater, there's no way I am BIGGER." 
TWO sizes later and TWO sizes bigger ... HOLY SHIT! I am going to so be the, "Who's the new fat girl at work?"  Yes, I have thought of looking for work when I lost some weight ... how said is that?  Glad the job is here though.  Next week I start and another positive thing about this new journey including everything else ... there won't be a damn refrigerator within walking distance all day at my service! 

Happy Tuesday, I guess! 


  1. I´m so happy for you, starting a new job can be very exciting.
    As for what the new co-workers will say, I find that we tend to be our own worst judges, I´m sure no one will think anything remotely close to that! Good luck on your first day, keep us updated ;)

  2. I know it's such a silly worry for me to care what others think, it's just the low self-esteem right now but I know I am me, no matter what, big or small!
    Thanks for the vote of confidence!