Friday, December 3, 2010

I want to do this but can I do this?

Dear Skinny Me, 
I read all the success stories.  The stories of people losing half their weight, or even losing enough weight for two people, I know it's real, I know it exists, these success stories.  I have seen my very own Uncle lose over hundred pounds and he did it the way I want to do it, eat less and move more.  A little over three years ago I lost fifty pounds and before you add, "you did it once, you can for sure do it again," I will admit to the use of diet pills, taken over a year span and an estimated five-six pound weight loss per week, it was awesome and deadly and oh, so stupid. Now, here I am, those fifty and plus pounds back and the motivation nowhere to be found.  You see, I am one of those, "need to see results now," types of people.  If I don't feel better, look better, fit into my clothes better, walk up the stairs without pain in my knees, if all of these don't happen fast then what in the world am I putting myself through hell over?  I know, I know how awful that statement sounds, but just being honest to how much motivation I don't have.  So anyone know where to find it?  Yes, I want to feel better, look better, fit into my clothes better.  I want to be my young age of thirty-two and not have old ladies knees.  I want to enjoy shopping again instead of just grabbing the item I need in my size and leave.  I don't even know when the last time I was in a dressing room, have you seen those mirrors?  Who is the fat girl staring at me and why is she giving me a dirty look?  Oh, yes, I get surprised by myself in the mirror, I walk really fast by any full length mirrors.  My makeup?  Gets put on by a hand held mirror.  How sad am I? 
In April of this year I had my yearly doctor appointments.  One of the first words from my skinny and sweet female doctor?  "You're ONE HUNDREDS POUNDS over weight.  I almost cried.  I probably did, later on.  So, time to lose 100 pounds.  100 pounds off of me is the weight of my twenty year old self.  
About two weeks ago I started another blog: Truly Trying and thought I would combine that blog with weight loss and life stuff.  The problem, I haven't posted ANYTHING about weight loss.  So, here we are with this blog. I can't hide now, I am out there and I am going to hold myself accountable but what scares me the most?  Not caring.  I always have and am scared to death that I always will have the mind set of, "there's always tomorrow."  Look up procrastinator in the dictionary and I wouldn't be surprised if my picture took up the whole entire page.  
So ... what now?  Well, for starters how hard is it to just move for 30 minutes a day?  Seriously, not that hard, right?  I have a very cute and adorable furry friend who would LOVE for me to take him on a daily walk.  My kids take him daily but they have to take him close to home, not much for any of them to explore.  I should take my little cuddle buddy on a good walk where he can sniff his heart away and I will just listen to my tunes and not think of it as exercise, just me time.  Maybe in time I will enjoy these walks and push myself more.  One step at a time.  So how about food?  I know I need to drink more water so that should be easy.  I have a wonderful bottle with a fancy straw and all, fill it up twice and that is more than enough water for a day.  I can do that.  And food.  For now, just stay away from fast food and anything fried and I can kick soda out of my diet too.  Let's start with that.  
Here goes somethin' ... 


  1. First of all, congratulations on beginning a blog. It is within this community that you'll find encouragement when you need it; strength when you don't think you have any, and direction when you don't know where to go. I'm grateful to have this glimpse of you here at the beginning because I'm sure you will come back to this first entry and read it over and over, especially when you want to see how far you've come. Check out other weight loss first-entry blogs and you'll feel better right away, I'm sure.
    I've been where you are right now. I spent years in my late twenties and early thirties at my heaviest weight. Even though I've been at goal for 5+ years, I still have issues (like binging when I'm under a lot of stress) and am afraid that the weight will come back. I guess what I'm trying to say is that no matter where you are on this journey: whether you're just beginning, are trying to break through a plateau, or at goal - we are all in this together.
    Looking forward to getting to know you better :)

  2. Thank you so much for my FIRST follow and your words of wisdom. I also sent you an email. :)

  3. Welcome to the journey! It's amazing how powerful blogging is - and helps me keep accountable. Just walk for 30 mins 5 days a week for a month or so and see where you are after! Walk until it becomes a habit. I love how in a months time you'll write a new post, and it will be so different to this one. I love looking back and reading past thoughts, insecurities. My online diary.... I want instant results too. I started about 3 months ago and remember thinking it would take aggggggggggges to feel like I was getting anywhere. Those 3 months feel like a snap of the finger and I'm 22pounds lighter. I could have still been where I was moaning about it so easily. Trust me, in 3 months time you will hopefully be feeling differently :D Goodluck!

  4. Welcome Hannah and thank you so much! I love to hear that if I just stick with it SOMETHING WILL HAPPEN! I am on my way to check out your blog!

  5. I stumbled across your blog and I love it! I just began my weight loss journey in December and started blogging (which I also love). The best part is finding other people, who I can relate to, being so honest and sincere. I hope you continue to blog, I look forward to hearing about your success!

  6. Thank you so much! I just became a follower of your blog as well!